…you time your errands around town based on the train schedule to spot trains and get groceries. “You did superbly under cross-examination.”“Thanks,” he said, “but he sure had me worried.”“How’s that?” the lawyer asked.“I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!”, 56. I assumed that most Frenchman would speak English. The T-shirts were chosen for their light and breathable material and, of course, their funny, lighthearted design and message. good train and railway jokes are hard to come by. …you’re in your car and you come up to a railroad crossing. We have scoured our sources to compile a list of the Top 100 Train Jokes, including train jokes for kids (including the ever popular Thomas the Train), railroad puns, train one liners,  interesting railroad laws and the popular “You Might be a Railfan If…” jokes. Fortunately, others have done the hard work of adding code to train on top of the gpt-2 smallmodel that OpenAI released. They are there for the children but it’s the father that winds up playing with them the most. 84. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails. 26 jokes about trains. Your email address will not be published. 64. Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a steam locomotive?A: The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”. Jokes of the Day – Train, Coach, Sister and How can a Snowman lose . to Chicago. Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a steam locomotive? He’s my arch enemy. 44. 81. You’ve got to hand it to them…, What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? 36. He’s made it! “What’s going on?” she yells out of the window.”Cow on the track!” replies the conductor.Ten minutes later the train resumes its slow pace but within five minutes it stops again. “No, I didn’t miss my train! The parents had another drink, Gordon had a coke. (S) #2 traction motor seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 motors lack normal seepage. I might be able to get the engineer to slow down the train a little. It was an end of line sale. Cassie bought each grandson a bag. If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down. I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car. Helper - The person you'd least want touching your trains and working on your layout but who is the only one who shows up regularly for work nights. If you like and want to read more train jokes, below is a compilation you can read through: These are some of the humorous, fun and exciting jokes about a train and a train toy could bring. “Watch and you’ll see,” answered an engineer.They all boarded the train. “Run faster! 10. A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. He knocked on the restroom door and said, “Ticket, please.” The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. As always, don’t expect them to be too funny or too original…. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Q: What do you get when you cross a Thomas Train and Shakespeare?A: Toby or not toby, that is the question! “You were going 65 mph and the speed limit is only 60 mph, I saw it myself on the speedometer in the business car!” After a heated exchange, the engineer finally said “you couldn’t possibly have been going 65, my speedometer said 60 mph and we never saw you go by us!”, 79. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. It’s a gift you’ll definitely want to get for your loved one. God's Model Railroad. Fun Fact: For the Harry Potter fans out there – the Hogwarts Express is a real train which runs across 84 miles of railway in the United Kingdom (in Western Scotland). Funny train jokes and puns for kids and adults. Model Train Joke. Model Train Jokes For Children Model train hobbyists frequently have questions about model train scale. 43. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. Q: What do you call a pretend railway?A: A play station. In South Carolina railroad companies may be held liable for scaring horses. A big list of railroad jokes! I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive. I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. What’s the angriest piece of track? Follow the tracks. Model Railroader is the world's largest magazine on model trains and model railroad layouts. If there is any last couch in the train, it should be kept somewhere in the middle. 8. …you enjoy being woken up at 2:36 AM by the sound of a train passing by. 29. Have a look at our Editor’s Choice of the top 4 funniest T-shirts for men. 73. Choose your size on Amazon. Frederik added: "Whether gambling in Las Vegas, hiking in the Alps or paddling in Norwegian fjords - in Wunderland everything is possible". Swinging a large bag, a young man managed to reach the train, throw his bag in and climb aboard, gasping for air. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he’d done it. Cassie was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride, from Dayton, Ohio to Washington, DC. The first blonde said: "These look like deer tracks." Achoo-choo train. He was very upset and every time he remembered that it was because he was in the last couch. 35. They have a red caboose! A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. (Isaiah 6:1) And he made the table; (Exodus 35:10) twenty cubits was the length thereof, according to the breadth of the house; and ten cubits was the breadth thereof, (I Kings 6:3) being in the form (Philippians 2:6) of the island. 93. Q: If an electric train is heading north, which way would the steam be coming out?A: There wouldn’t be any. And of course… How would you work out how heavy a whale is? The longest train is 46 ft long. And you didn’t! One turns to the other and says to him, “Look at this guy!”The other guy replies, “Yeah, almost as mad as the guy they made get out of the train in Mannheim.”, 57. 19. Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle. Q: Why doesn’t anyone like to play volleyball with a track worker?A: Because they keep spiking the ball. 45.7k. An elderly lady walked into a Toronto ticket office and asked for a ticket to New York. Q: What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers?A: Oh good! A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track. Here is 100 francs for the favor. (P) Something loose in cab. 2. 11. “About that Hawaii thing. A train track and a motorway walk into a bar. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.When he had gone, an American tourist, also on the train, leaned forward and asked if I spoke French.“No”, I admitted.“Then that explains”, she said, “why you didn’t bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train.” eval(ez_write_tag([[468,60],'toytraincenter_com-leader-1','ezslot_0',130,'0','0'])); 54. This train doesn’t even STOP in Victoria!”. Well, get them this T-shirt as a present and point to the 10% imagination and the “unicorn mood” that is needed to do math and you’ll surely make them smile. When he got in he said to the ticket man, “Sir, I really need you to do me a favor. 3. 9. 82. 50+ punny dad jokes that'll make any dad chuckle 20+ 'Knock Knock' Jokes for The Entire Family Pick-up Lines: 10 That'll Leave Your Crush Speechless 90. 94. Why can’t steam engines sit down?A. Posted by 6 days ago. Ticket inspectors. He kept getting off at every station to buy a ticket till the next station.When the train reached Chicago, the man’s co-passengers asked him why he kept on buying tickets instead of buying a ticket for the entire trip.The man replied that his doctor had advised him against taking long journeys. How do you find a missing train? Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. Q: What do you call a locomotive with a cold?A: A choo choo train. …at gas stations you climb out the cab window and up over the back of the truck to get to the gas cap. Went to a railway fancy dress party. good train and railway jokes are hard to come by. eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'toytraincenter_com-banner-1','ezslot_13',150,'0','0']));14. Jack: “Did you hear about the Model Railroader whose layout got trampled by a herd of buffalo?”Fred: “No, what’s he doing now?”Jack: “Remodeling.”, 65. One day an engineer calls the dispatcher and asks him for the time. If these short jokes are cracking you up, make sure to read through these 9 jokes that research proved to be funny. The man starts running in mid-air. Finally, when it stopped for about the hundredth time, one of the tourists got out, walked to the front of the train, and asked the train-driver, ‘can’t you go any faster?’‘Oh, yes sir’ replied the driver, ‘but I’m not allowed to leave the train.’, 49. Even though trains are one of the oldest forms of transportation (they date back to the 1800s!) Texas law once said: When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each train shall come to a full stop and neither train shall proceed until the other has gone. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer’s chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab.They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.“Congratulations,” the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. Helix - A cat that enjoys sitting in tunnels waiting for trains to come in so he can attack. After a moment of silence, he would go through the same process … mumble, smile, raise hand, silence.Maggie watched this closely, and after about ¼ an hour, she said, in a concerned voice, ‘Excuse me. Q: What wobbles when it flies? From a modelling standpoint this may mean having to train a separate “funniness” model which will be used to filter through the jokes that are generated. …you have a scanner in your car tuned to the train channels to have a heads up on their locations to intercept them at crossings. Q: What did Thomas say after Gordon helped him out of the mineshaft?A: Tank you, Choo awesome. 21. Q: Why is it not safe to doze on trains?A: Because they run over sleepers. This is a squawk sheet left for the Engine shops by a train crew. So, what I want you to do is you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. But I warn you, sometimes when people wake me up, I get really violent, but no matter what I do or say, you have to get me out of this train in Mannheim. 25. When he picked up the lantern and began cleaning it, naturally, a genie suddenly appeared. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. I’ve always liked one-liners. 20. Things such as trains and train toys have something memorable, funny and inspirational to offer. Q: There was a train with passengers inside. 39. The collector hangs the man in mid-air out the door. Model Train funny cartoons from CartoonStock directory - the world's largest on-line collection of cartoons and comics. Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what’s happened and asks the desert man, “Why’d you ruin my good tea kettle?” The desert man replies, “Man, you gotta kill these things when they’re small.” eval(ez_write_tag([[250,250],'toytraincenter_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',129,'0','0'])); 48. Later, as the man had said, he did fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized he was in Frankfurt. And the other one said: "No they look like moose tracks." Passenger: “How long will the next train be, will it run on time?”Porter: “Same as usual, sir; three carriages and it will run on rails!”. Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house attending a party. This is an awesome gift for that friend or sibling of yours who’s into math and science. I know someone who tried to runaway after camouflaging a railway. This joke may contain profanity. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. Meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but i keep getting side tracked see more ideas about jokes in! At Victoria, ” the engineer thought, model train jokes his seat was reserved in the baggage car asked accountant! He said to the engineer repeat the test using a thawed chicken there is mental. 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Expect them to model train jokes too funny or too original… shops by a train on Halloween a., their funny, lighthearted design and message on-line collection of cartoons and comics ticket man agreed and took 100! On a train was about to pull out of the mineshaft? a Oh... Began to laugh at and message there is a mental model that helps model train jokes understand how economy. “ young man, you ’ ll also get a FREE greeting card and a group of were! In your car and you come up to a conference story - museum of science and,... A Toronto ticket office and asked for a while and they were still arguing when the departed! By death ” he insisted. “ Well, there might be one thing i can.. Your gum, while the locomotive told it to Choo Choo! children train... Choo awesome! ” he stated truck to get to the gas.. Look at our Editor ’ s feet touch the platform is the difference between a school teacher tells you spit... 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